Reading from an unknown author
Feel no guilt in laughter; he'd know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he's not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He'd hope that you could carry on the way you always do.
So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you; a word someone may say.
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,
That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked safely in your heart.
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Eulogy
I wanted to go back and say something about the words in the poem that I read earlier and the memories it invokes in me, and in others that know him well.
The part that stood out the most for me was the part that said
"a word someone may say, will suddenly recapture, a time, an hour, a day".
It not only invoked a word for me but also a sound. I wonder if anyone can guess what the word was?
For me the word was TEA.
This was often followed by the clink of his teacup on the saucer. [CLINK CLINK his Tea Cup and Saucer together]
It often got the reply from me that "you will get one when you get some manners". He would then pull a funny face at Andrew, mocking me, and say "Cuppa Tea please!" followed by calling me some random name from Kev to Andrew or even George, one of his carers, but not usually my actual name, but the glint in his eye told us he knew EXACTLY what he was saying.

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Right, now I want to take you back to our Oliver Twist like days as children.
During visits and the school holidays when we were children we, the grandchildren, would go to grandad's to see him, but no sooner did we arrive, he would set us to work, out in the garden, BUT instead of picking pockets, like Oliver Twist, we'd be picking weird Christmas tree type weeds, tomatoes, strawberries, broad beans and shelling them, I hate beans.
He would show us how to plant vegetables, we'd water them, and we'd harvest them.
My Dad, Billy, Brother Kevin and myself would be taken back to school in the holidays, to help him when he was working on maintenance jobs. We'd be fetching screwdrivers, screws, nuts and bolts, usually the wrong ones because we didn't have a clue, but we helped. We'd also get the brushing up to do at the end of the job too and yes, we'd have to get him lots of cups of tea!
As our reward, we would get homemade soup which was amazing or something from the chippy to share which, as teenagers, didn't last long but we would also finish his food too.
At the time all this work felt like punishment but now I see that it showed us the meaning of hard work and skills, helping each other, working for the greater good of the family.
There are so many bad things going on in the world right now and the world could learn a lesson from him, about working together to achieve common goals and the support and love of family.
Moving forward into his 90's, it became time for him to surrender his driving licence. Mum, Ann, started driving him to see Vera, his loving partner for many years, part of his daily routine to get fed. After some time, mum's health got bad so, Andrew and I, would make sure he would get to see Vera, dropping him off there each evening. After about a year, he had an accident, lost his confidence and spent most of his time at home. At this point Vera would come to see him most nights and they would spend many evenings sat in front of the TV chatting and enjoying each other's company.
The family each took their turn at checking on him at lunch times. Sue did Sunday, Mum, Kevin, Joanne, Michelle went to check on him at lunch during the week and Andrew and I went to visit on a Saturday. We sat talking, watching his favourite TV shows and getting bossed around. He used to love to read whatever was printed on Andrew's top that day, even if it only said Abercrombie and Fitch.
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In the last few years, at Christmas we would pick him up and take him to mums for Christmas Dinner. I think these are our favourite memories. Mum, Dad and Kevin would sort out the food, Andrew, Grace, Harry and myself would keep Grandad entertained. He loved the blockbuster movies with a glass of sherry. We got told off for talking whilst he watched Harry Potter and he exclaimed how exciting this new movie Jurassic Park was, already over 20 years old at the time. I was surprised he didn't claim he remembered the Jurassic era to be honest.

Finally, one of the last times I took him out was November 2018. We were invited to take him to the 100th Remembrance Day celebrations in Liverpool City Centre.
He was dressed up smartly in his Lancashire Fusilier Uniform and medals displayed proudly. Major Elaine had made sure we had a place close by to park.
She fixed his bury with the long 'primrose yellow' feather, known as a hackle. She had arranged for him to have pride of place to view the celebrations. She wrapped him in blankets so he wouldn't get cold and plied him with alcohol, which he clung onto for dear life.
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When the parade started, she arranged for two soldiers to accompany us, one of which pushed his wheelchair as I walked alongside. He loved all the attention. People would shout out lovely comments like "Thank you for your service" and I could hear one woman very excitedly shouting, "Look, look, he's a Lancashire Fusilier". She obviously knew her stuff. Occasionally he would give out a Royal wave to the crowds to thank them for coming to see him, as if the parade was all for him.

The parade ended in an awkward area for a wheelchair. No problem! About 6 guys in uniform excitedly picked up his chair and carried him to the top of about 20 steps so we could get him back safely. Again, he loved all the fuss.

Right I've gone on quite long enough, so my final words are "Cuppa Tea Grandad?" [CLINK CLINK of Cup and Saucer again]